Fat People Are Jolly!!

Warning: The immediate cause of this post is a television series titled "Biggest Loser" on the hallmark channel(i know, like who even watches hallmark channel, right? i come home after a long time(2 days, no i didn't go anywhere, i was a bit busy) and i am beaten by popular vote, to spend the first five minutes i get to watch tv, to watch some show about fat people crying, of course the rest of the time i utilized in sleeping(time well spent, don't you agree?))

Warning 2: This post has been written over a matter of 7 days whenever a laptop or a computer was found near me so the thought might not be very consistent throughout
Back to the topic, it is my firm belief that fat people are comparatively more jollier than people who are not very fat(like totally, who ever is opposite to this guy(this guy meaning me, for further doubts refer to the post "Parenthesis (aside))" has to be jolly). Though it may not always be true that the fatter the jollier. What i am trying to convey(like i have told hundreds of people complaining about "weight issues")there is nothing wrong in being fat or eating excess. i have 3-4 butter naans and 2-3 curries all by myself when i eat out(+desert), i sure am no good for an example but i feel people should be less concerned about their weight and what other people think about it. What i resent is not people complaining, people just need a reason to whine all the time, what i don't like is when they do really weird stuff under the name "Weight loss". Please eat, and eat what you'd like to eat, food is like beer, sure it makes you fat, but you love it(not the best representation, huh?(how about, food is like wine.... umm no, lets not go there either). What really amuses me is how this has become such a big problem, i mean, say 2 decades ago there weren't so many people who complained about being "obese" or the concept of an institution dedicated for weight reduction was absurd. We even had actors and actresses who are fat(in the lead roles!!). What happened? Suddenly fat walked out of the home of fashion and closed the door so hard it made the owner angry?

Now if someone complains about how they were made fun of for being fat or looked at otherwise, i understand how you feel, i was made fun of for being thin(extremely thin is a keyword here and that is one thing he really hates, being thin.) remember those days when people made you eat and eat just because you are thin(they still exist btw) and all those people who complained about you being weak and all cruel and nasty stuff. Take it to another level, is there something(anything at all) unusual about you that people ask you to change some characteristic or some feature that might not seem appropriate to pass off as normal or ordinary?(well if there isn't and you are a hot young chick email me your number ;)) for one at least i believe that everyone might answer the previous question in the positive because face it, no body is perfect, or for that even ordinary. All im trying to say is if you are not yourself then who will be?(it's funny you know, 8 beers and still he talks serious shit)

Back to the topic, Fat people are jolly, even if it is related to their weight or not(Yes, that was not supposed to make sense). I guess the reason they are kinder to people is because they lack egoistic feelings. Whatever may be the reason, the bigger the person, the better they are inside. That is generally the case, though it may differ from person to person

To sign off, here is a fat, happy and lazy cat's opinions on exercise:

A few random quotations from someone else

do i need to explain that?
here, just to prove i am a really big copycat. a few of them were copied from friends, obviously might cause a few problems

*Home is where you can scratch where it itches.
-Garfield

*Home is where you can scratch when it itches.
-A follower of this blog

*A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
-Joseph Stalin (1879 - 1953)

*Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve."
-George Bernard Shaw

*Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one."
-Bill Gates

*Death is better, a milder fate than tyranny.
-Aeschylus (525 BC - 456 BC)

*We made too many wrong mistakes.
-Yogi Berra

*You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.
-Albert Einstein(that makes me understand nothing)

*if you dont suck at anything that means you suck at sucking and that means you suck any way
-BUng

*A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
Mark Twain

*The advantage of being a pessimist is that whatever happens is what you expected or a pleasant surprise(or something similar to that)
-The first commenter on this blog

Don't stop me if you've heard this one before.
*Life is what happens when you are making other plans.
John Lennon

*What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
-Mark Twain

*Artificial intellegence stands no chance against natural stupidity
-unclaimed(or i dont know, never bothered looking up either)

*It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
-Homer Simpson

Bart Simpson:
*What if you're a really good person, but you get into a really, really bad fight and your leg gets gangrene and it has to be amputated. Will it be waiting for you in heaven?
*I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't ddknow why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!
*I didn't do it, no one saw me do it, there's no way you can prove anything!
*There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson.
*Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.
*Remember, you can always find East by staring directly at the sun.
*Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy.

*Life can be wildly tragic at times, and I've had my share. But whatever happens to you, you have to keep a slightly comic attitude. In the final analysis, you have got not to forget to laugh.
Katharine Hepburn(Who cares about the quote, we care about her;) )

*Acting is a nice childish profession - pretending you're someone else and at the same time selling yourself.
Katharine Hepburn

Wernher von Braun :
*Crash programs fail because they are based on the theory that, with nine women pregnant, you can get a baby a month.
*There is just one thing I can promise you about the outer-space program - your tax-dollar will go further.
*Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
*We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.

One i strongly object to by personal experience:
*One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
Rita Mae Brown

A very important note to all:
*Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
E. B. White

Aristotle:
*He who cannot be a good follower cannot be a good leader.
*Those that know, do. Those that understand, teach.
*Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.
*The whole is more than the sum of its parts.
*The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance.
*To love someone is to identify with them.
*Law is mind without reason.



That is all for now.

Parenthesis (Aside)

One of the few very helpful things available for the average confused person like myself while conversing especially in written format(blogging) is the usage of Parenthesis(these things()). My excessive usage is probably not so hard to figure out given my other post in this blog contain many parenthesis(yes, i do pop up a lot don't i?) but the point of this post is that the usage of these very parenthesis(i ctrl+c-ed that word, now whenever i have to say/type parenthesis i just ctrl+v :P(the simple life!! :8)) is quite helpful.
Though at times it might confuse the reader(which i probably did in the previous line), that is a risk which i am willing to take, for you see, that is the only way i can bring out the conflicting thoughts existing in my mind about something (translation: i hate him, he hates me, only by the usage of parenthesis(i ctrl+v-ed) we co-exist)
http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#Community.aspx?cmm=31027
check out that community on orkut and read the description(That's what im talking about!!)

Anyway to end this post(or a useless excuse for a post) i just want to say(i made him say this) sometimes using a parenthesis(you already know it is ctrl+v-ed by now) might surprise yourself about a different perspective you never knew you had(in simple Akshayism: When you don't know what to say but you have to say something, carefully manipulate the words to say all that you can say.)

New Post

This blog sucks doesn't it?
have any better ideas to waste time?(i mean better than sleeping, to which we give unconditional support)

no? too bad, that is why this blog... yes another saddening reality in life

though the real reason im posting on this blog today is because of one of my very good friends who blogged about Akshayism in the first place.
I've also decided to put up a meaningful post*crowd stunned*

gotcha ;)

you didn't think you could find anything meaningful here did ya wiseguy? yes in view of being un-genderbiased i add you too "wisegirl" ofcourse one is only forced to expect that in the near future we will be able to see "wisecow" or "wisedog" maybe even "wiseass" being used in a more literal sense where the "living thing" referred to is not offended by the remark.... all this due to continued efforts by all the animal rights activists, against whom(please do not get me wrong) i have nothing against.

^^ see the amount of crap that comes out of animals? :P

bad jokes aside, i intend to be more active in this blog and given my recent absence from the internet(innernet if you are american, but then again if you are ameriki you wouldnt probably have read this far, would you?) scene(you haven't noticed? you are only too kind) i guess i better make up for the loss by a few posts in this blog which very few people read in the first place....

a few changes are under the pipeline, i hope you like them.

The way times go on

It is rather funny the way times go on, move about, change, run by you when you least expect and all the other shit that happens(by shit i mean crap according to English subtitles in modern day English films, apparently shit is a slang and crap is its alternative un-slangish form... im actually serious. turn on star movies, in a film you will never find the word shit in the subtitle, it is always conveniently replaced by the writers love for "crap" and discrimination against shit, back to the topic now)
and though it is funny, the worst part is, you cant laugh at it. It takes a really big person(not necessarily with reference to physical size)to laugh at his own misfortunes. People often confuse the real people who can take everything in their stride with low self esteem, good for nothing pessimists like myself(for example, when someone tricks me, or maybe hacks my account i feel happy for the fact that some person actually spends their time and whatever small amount of money it must have caused them to trick ME!! i feel honoured that someone would work so hard to do such a thing to me which makes me feel all the more worthy, only to lose the upbeat mood in a minute or two
To stop talking about me, i would like to talk/type about 2 things here
1 the kind of people who somehow learn to say, okay fine, no problemo and move on
2 the way the time keeps moving

1.i met answers to the people of the first point on my recent visit to mumbai, though the city has always fascinated me and has many other interesting things(about which i might post in the near future, no guarantees though), what i like is the way the people cope up. *Shit happened* the people" acha? kaise hua?" "chalo thik hai tenshun nako" "lets work twice as hard" and all that with a smile on their face.
Maybe they hide their disappointment, maybe they are used to set backs and shit happening to them all their lives, maybe they are plain stupid. Whatever be the reason, for one, i am impressed
if you want to learn from others and improve, learn from them. and i am not talk about the people living in rich fancy bungalows in colaba or juhu, i am talking the more realistic middle class Bombay which starts right from, maybe Dadar and down, the other Bombay is just another Delhi.

2.The other thing includes the way time moves on, though at this point of time i have lost interest in what i originally wanted to type and have told myself to not be so serious. it is amazing how things change by, how things you once swore could never improve/reprove actually improve/reprove.
See how time goes on, at the begining of this post, wanted to explain in detail about the actual content of this post right here, but by this time i somehow dont even want to type, all i want to do is end another of my really bad posts.

Meena Speaks

Meena Speaks

Meena is a big time blogger so be sure, the next post will blow you away, she is one of my bestest internet friends. She is one of those godly persons you just have to know, whom you can always talk to about anything and everything and yet she has this sense of a very simble person all you can do is envy... here is a link to her blog btw which is one of the reasons why i did make this useless excuse for a blog:

Over to Meena:

A Call of Duty



He looked into her eyes, trying to discern what she was hiding. For she was hiding something. He had an hunch and yet, her eyes never wavered. She looked at him with calm certainty. If he would be honest with himself, he would have agreed that this calm smugness of hers irked him. For she was an murderess and she wasn't in the least penitent. And they were in the court. And he was the prosecutor.
It was an unusual case. She was a single mother living in one of those apartments thats found every where. She was known to be a very dedicated mother who took very good care of her 2 year old kid. She lived quietly and 'never was any trouble' the landlord had said.. and yet, when her kid drowned, she was seen to leave the crime scene, a pond in the nearby park, without looking back. She had shed not one tear.

When asked she said, "Sometimes duty makes you take difficult decisions. I have no regrets and have got nothing to say". This seeming indifference and a persistent silence had caught the audiences' imagination and had made her a popular figure. Her callous inaction was long forgotten. And one more piece of mystery was where she had run to leaving her child to die. She refused to answer.

He asked her, " We all know that you are not a neglectful mother. Then it wasn't an accident. How can you kill your child so mercilessly?"

He knew his impassioned speech would make the jury inflamed too. He was tired of media people making her out into some tragic heroine. He again scanned her face for some troubled expression. There was none.

Calmly she said, " If you are looking for remorse, I haven't any. If you are looking for explanation. I am not going to give any too. For what you are giving me as a punishment is actually a release. For I have not erred. I have sinned yes. If I reveal the circumstances, you might think of me as a hero. While I am neither. I am just someone caught in the turning wheels of fate"

Her enigmatic pronouncement created furore in the audience. The flashing of cameras and the noise of the protesting groups and the counter protesting group interfered with the proceedings. It took a lot of time to calm down the crowd.

The prosecutor was thankful for the respite, for he didn't know how to proceed. For she had categorically refused a defense attorney. She had agreed to her crime. It was clear cut case and yet, the lack of emotions bugged him. He wished she would show some emotions. And the deep mystery she created intrigued him as much as the next person.

He continued, " That is really quite a speech. However, I don't think anyone in this court will call you a HERO!! Really a murderess and a hero? Some gall you have my dear!" and he laughed ironically.

She remained quiet.

The judge, sensing that they have reached an impasse, decided to take things into his hand and said gently, " My dear, You know that we cannot make you talk if you don't want to. And you have agreed to the crime. We have no choice but to punish you. And that is what you wish. And my dear puts us in a delicate position. For you see this is as good as abetting in your suicide. Don't you think we need to know how and why you did such an heinous deed? And think of all the mothers in this world whose position is compromised by your actions. Don't they need any justifications?"

She looked at the judge's kindly eyes and said, " I would like you to pronounce the judgement and I want a promise that it wouldn't be re-indicted. Then I shall tell my story. It might seem like a far fetched fantastic story. Some would even call it a web of lies. However, if you dig deep enough, you would know it is true. Please this is the only condition under which I shall tell".

There was a ripple of excitement all around. A pin drop silence ensued. The judge in all his wisdom replied, " I can pronounce the judgement. However, re-indictment is not under me. I cannot promise you that."

Resignedly, she started her story. She was finally tired of this mask that she wore-A mask of unperturbed , implacable emotions that she wore for so long that it had become her actual face. The vulnerable innocence had long died. All she was left with was this mask.

Slowly she says, " There used to be this river where I used to live. And we simple folks.. we used to fish by the river and farm and eat what we had. There used to be music and dances and we all were religious though which religion was never an problem. As it happens, this idyll life was destroyed and how! I saw things which I would rather not re-visit and yet I did.. again and again until it comsumed me and nothing else was left.."

There was complete silence while she tried to control her voice to not show tremor that affected her voice. And then thinking it makes no difference anymore she continued, " I had become an automoton and someone used me as such. A well oiled machine that kills. Yes I was a terrorist. And yet, I dont regret being one."

Shocked evereyone started murmuring. She waited until they subsided.

"It was the only family I knew and we were brothers and sisters in truest sense. For we had no family. And I met him. For the first time in my life I lived. Our meetings however brief they were was the only thing that thawed my heart. My cold heart. And then when I came to know I am pregnant I knew I had to leave. And leave I did. And I betrayed my family to get a free space to stay. And in the end it didn't matter. My child died anyways.... "

" It felt amazing to stay in the new country. I was lonely yes, fearful even.. but I was hopeful. I had not made close friends, but when I stepped outside my house I exchanged smiles. I never had to look back and front before I stepped out. It took time but normalcy visited my heart. I could go out in the park with my mun-mun and I could dream about things of flowers and bees and of clouds and seas. Until that fateful day someone called me Nilofer.. No one called me that for a long time and yet my mind responded to it without hesitation and there he was .. So handsome so majestic and yet so utterly lonely and so tired. We caught up with news. Talked like nothing was wrong and yet I knew he is going to kill me. And he knew I knew. I didnt beg. ?He knew I wouldn't. I didn't have to. One look at our child and he changed his mind. He asked me to come with him to leave the place and to run away with him. He was tired of the cause too.

I often wonder late in the night in the prison while I am lying on the bed long after the sleep hours, utterly awake, if I should have gone with him. We would have had such a beautiful life. May be we did have a choice. And yet at that moment it didnt seem right. For you see the plan was to frame me in an terrorist attack in a way trapping me. I could come with them and then they would have blackmailed me all my life into submission or I could do nothing and be apprehended for a crime I didnt commit. No one would have believed me. And he gave me an other choice. However, I chose the fourth path. And that caused the tussle between us. Harsh physical tussle where both want to hurt may be to kill too.
I swear we both didn't realize when mum-mum crawled over to the pond. Such was the effect of the fight. We both ran towards him.. and when he, my lover, reached the kid on time, I decided to run away. For you see the plan was to plant a bomb in the local school. Many kids would have died"

There was a huge commotion when this was heard. After all most kids went to this school and no one ever came to know about it and it was plausible yes but not easy to believe.

After sometime she continued with tears in her eyes, " When my lover realized I am running away to save the school kids, he tried to stop me by jumping into the waters with .. with mun-mun.. he knew I wouldn't risk his life.. but I knew he wouldn't too. He loved the kid the moment he set eyes on mun-mun.. besides he wasnt as hard hearted as he thought he was... So I went.. and.. when I returned my child was dead"

She broke into sobs. No one dared to touch that fragile soul but it was heart rending to behold her crashing . They were all used to seeing her strong..

But the story was not over she continued.... " He.. got caught in the quick sand and when he realized he did try to save the baby. I could have saved my child... but I was too far and I might have been too late and I couldn't have saved the school. I had a choice and I made it. I dunno if I would make the same choice again, if I could go back. May be not.. You may call it an elaborate lie to save my soul.... I dont care and I dont want to explain or justify it.. "

There was complete silence in the room. No one knew what to do. Thats when a shot ran across the room. And she was dead. No one saw the shot coming or from whom. But the sound of the shot will echo in their dreams for a long long time....

And no one noticed the pistol that the prosecutor slipped inside his briefcase.. He had accomplished what her stupid boyfriend hadn't accomplished..

Oscar vs Bollywood, Tollywood

I'm sorry, i know you've probably heard this everywhere else and are trying to take a refuge from it but i just couldn't help but post this.

This is something both the other(inactive blogger) and me agree upon and constantly talk about and well, we are big time movie buffs... there i said it!! telugu and hindi movies

What i feel offended to is not by slumdog millionaire or the oscars award something that has so many flaws and as much stupid melodramatic idiocity or even the "intelligentsia" who live in their aloof world surrounded by the walls of their ego and hundreds of desperate wannabes.

What i am offended by is that "WE" make such a big deal out of it. i say this with all my pride, i love bollywood and id say tarak would say the same about tollywood. To all the critics of the world who criticize bollywood cinema and say its not up to any good, please talk about something you understand. Bollywood is not about some fictional fight which assumably took place long long time ago in a galaxy far far away and certainly not about some bloody homosexual who won an election, bollywood is about entertainment, pure, unadulterated entertainment. Of course we are defined by the phenomenal hits every year and few lesser spoken outstanding movies like Dasvidhaniya but the bigger picture is the movies like Singh is king or some other movie the critics make fun of. I agree there are truly terrible movies also made, but at the same time i know for sure, there is some construction worker out there, who earns 80Rs per day, maybe, will skip his afternoon lunch and go for watching the first day first show of the movie where maybe the hero miraculously beats up a hundred bad guys with cruel intentions, dance with the heroin, show no sex, if they do show a rape scene where the actress has her hand held till eternity till the hero comes and saves her........ etc etc, but remember one thing that guy there, will enjoy it... it is what he thinks his money is worth and you have no right what so ever to tell him that he is wrong. 

The oscars/any other such awards don't know/appreciate this. i don't blame them, your american, i understand your dumb. but what i don't like is someone from my own country going and accepting that they are right(if that someone was one or 2 i wouldn't mind but when it floods my tv and everyone is talking about it, i do mind thank you very much)

About the song, without doubt A R Rahman has made much much better songs than the one he got an oscar for and well the oscar might be injustice to his other work, but you've got to appreciate the guy for being so simple and no minding about it. 

about tollywood and more i hope tarak haleday will post later, but this topic is not closed, after further inputs i will post later

Bla bla bla speaks

Yes the objective of this blogger is to blog lesser himself and make others write something to make this blog seem really active(i am smart sometimes, arent i?)

Bla bla bla/ Ash/ Ashwathy is also a follower of this blog who does occasionally comment, in addition to being rude, sketching and mentioning the classics(Roadrash is a classic pc game, okay.)

this is what she has to say:

I was thinking.
I don't like the idea of culture messing up my private preferences.
I mean if I wanna get drunk in a pub,I don't want some fanatics bashing my head because I defied my country's culture.
I admit I get uneasy about all the culture thing when it comes to a certain level,where they tell us how we ought to talk,walk and think.I get the feeling they intrude upon my freedom and my privacy.
Culture means everything to some people.
Umm..well...not to me.I am not against it.But I don't know what's the big deal about it.
Maybe I am shallow and unwise.*shrugs* It's not as if Brahma or Jesus or Allah or anything divine or superior in any way send it down to earth straight from the heaven.It's man-made,okay?Another human being(s) created and moulded it aeons ago.
Alright,there is the artistic beautiful element about culture.It's curious and intriguing.No denying that.Maybe things would look drab without multitudes of culture around the world.I adore culture in a plane it doesn't affect an individual's right to choose.I am thinking about art forms;food,architecture,music,dance,martial arts and the sort.They are adorable,exotic.
And I umm... :D... I like the idea of a cultural museum being set up in different places where they could frame good old costumes,ornaments,wax models or paintings of art forms (though I prefer they remain eternal) so that posterity can have a look at them and say "Oh so this what a sari is!" :|.

Ayeesha Speaks

Ayeesha who has been following this blog(why even i dont know, i mean who would follow this blog , right?) has given an article to post in the blog, and well, we are in short of posts arent we, so here is Ayeesha Speaking/posting/whatever she is trying to do:

Me, sur and neh were sitting in nair's gazebo and out of no where we started talking about kids and all maa-too-re stuff. Neh said if she had a boy she'd like to name him rehman or farhan or a- i -don't- remember- something ran but sadly her parents won't like muslim names for their Grandson.

Yea... so I thought right then, not what to name my kids...coz I (sorry, WE) will decide that when the time is right, but what will life be like when our kids will be with us.
And I had an ear to ear smile sketched on my face which was already painted in the colors of happiness.


I know I'll be a good mom.


Just then I took a sneak peek into the future and saw me and my lil girl sitting and throwing balloons filled with paints on a huge canvas set against the wall.
Yes, You heard that right...we were not doing homework!

I know I'll teach my kids things no school can teach them
I know I'll spend time with them
I know I'll not ask them to not have too many friends(something my 'mom' remind me every weekday)
I know I'll make them whatever they want to be

I 'll teach them how to play the piano and listen to Mozart before they think "Anu malik" made/makes music

I know I'll go cycling with 'em
I know I'll tell 'em to cook their old folks dinner once a month
I know I wont tell 'em what grades I got at school or how many hours a day did I put into my books or how I got no pocket money or how I was at sainik school(I am not:P) and washed my clothes myself(I, again, don't!)
I know I'll help 'em pick up reading and if they don't like reading I'll make 'em see some nice Indian cinema (the best movies are made here people. I say this after I dont watch ANY movies)
I know I'll teach 'em how to appreciate art and life .
I know I'll take 'em to the local orphanage once a month(I have never been there with my parents)
I know I'll not ask 'em why don't they get top grades at school.
I know I'll never stop 'em from eating loads of chocolate[erm...maybe I'll]
I know I'll let 'em be themselves...
And I promise I'll never tell 'em to be like me!


I hope I'll be a good mom.

Give a caption

This is for those very few people subjected through the torture of actually having read this blog, however few posts i may have posted and you must have read even lesser but then again, this post is for you..

Given above is a picture of, yes me ofcourse, in a pose where...... umm.... well you know the pose, now what i would like you to do is give a caption for the picture. a creative caption, whatever you think suits the picture right

i'm sorry i cant offer any cash prizes of lakhs of rupees or 20 million if you've seen that terrible movie.... i cant offer anything infact, other than appreciation but it is just a competition, if you'd like to please comment on the caption for the picture

Blogs

As indicated in my previous post, someone got me thinking about blogs in general, i mean i did think about it but was never reminded when i had time to spare unlike today... anyway......

People say blogs are the mordern day diaries. remember people used to write in diaries, some still do and they call me jobless :P. But what i really want to say is, remember how they used to secretly keep stuff on the diary, write about anything and everything, anyone and everyone, what happened so on and so forth, no matter what they used to write they used to keep it safely, outside from the world, especially from younger or elder(mostly younger)siblings. Now if the blog was the same thing, are people actually now interested in sharing their diary with the entire world just a click away, either people are changing in their outlook for personal information(PI) or it is just the trend that is so horribly wrong and changing that it has caused a lot of problems......

Of course there are people like the forementioned lady who does have a blog and keeps it only for some people to see, esp when they live some people are far away, it is better to write a blog and let them to see whenever... atleast much more trendier than writing an email with a lot of cc's and attachments.

Jobless

Like totally jobless, its been so long with nothing to do, you keep piling up things in the stack that when you finally have some free time, you dont know if you follow FIFO or LIFO, yes stacks and queues is where the class has reached and no, i am not happy with the money.

back to the topic, the reason why i did publish this post(as classy as it may sound, you know "publish" a post) is because well, this was in the top of the stack.

Sometimes, it feels great doesn't it? Being jobless, no hassles, no worries, nothing to do, no one to bug, no one bugging, you can just sit back on your sofa and do nothing...." or this is what you say when you have loads of work piled up that you think being jobless is fun. Sleep? ive slept long enough, now what? Eat? not a huge stomach to fill, finished that too. now what? aah yes blog in that stupid excuse for a blog called "showcase". add "our" to it, to make it seem more appealing and hope more people relate to it.

Uff, someone special pointed out, this blog has the intentions of being a desperate attempt of getting followers, not that it is going to happen, still, it questions your original thought, do you want a lot of people to read your blog? is it really that public? 

Who cares, im too jobless to bother, im going to close my eyes and listen to some songs, probably what you should have been doing yourselves instead of reading this stupid post in the first place, stoopid.

btw, made ya smile :P

Akshayism in order

Stand up, Stand out and Respect yourself
-Akshayism 1.3.2

Whenever you want to really do something, with all eagerness and desperation, be sure, the whole world will conspire against you to let it not happen.
-Akshayism 1.6.51

**Chapter 2 out of reach

Depression is what happens when on a sunny day, your triple scoop ice cream falls on the ground because you wanted to know the time, entertainment is what the other people around you have when you actually do it.
-Akshayism 3.1.9

Pleasure and Intelligence aren't exactly the best of friends.
-Akshayism 3.2.11

Yes, No and Maybe. the only three replies you need to know while listening to advice.
-Akshayism 3.5.11

**Chapter 4 out of reach

Go to hell, at least you'd be sure you've reached the bottom.
-Akshayism 5.3.14

The size of your brain is inversely proportional to your eagerness to measure it.
-Akshayism 5.6.61

It is wise to choose between two evils, it is wiser not to choose at all.
-Akshayism 6.2.553

Security is what is given to the strong by the weak, to keep them strong.
-Akshayism 6.5.12

Be careful before being the first person to do something that is easy, there is a reason you are the first.
-Akshayism 7.3.29

When in doubt, accept that you are in doubt
-Akshayism 7.8.124

**All remaining chapters have been left anonymously closed for indefinite period of time.

-Akshayism 22(otherwise rejected material)

*If you do exist, you never realised it, if you don't exist you don't have to.

*If your wrong a hundred times, the next time you try it, your still wrong.

*Wait, don't say anything, they will still tell you that you are wrong.

*The only difference between you and me is right now, you read, while im somewhere probably doing something productive.

*a right answer followed by 5 wrong ones doesn't get you out of the negatives

*Don't give advice, especially when you don't know what to say.

*If your lazy, either you obey or you invent. \lassiez faire/

*Lying is more than an art, its a necessity

*The reason why today is not tomorrow is that today will always end, so why plan for today??
-The rest get rather very boring

Whatever you are, however good/bad you are, at some place/point of time you are the butter phulka trying to play in the cd player.
A Butter phulka in a cd player(starting and ending line)

ARRRRGHHH!!!!

A man walks into a bar with a cheese sandwich under his arm. "A pint of Guinness for me and the cheese sandwich," he says to the barman.

"I'm sorry, sir," replies the barman, "we don't serve food in here."


Is that not the stupidest joke you have ever heard?? now imagine someone comes online at 1.30 am to wake you up from your happy sleep and make you sign in to your account(yes it is a boring task) and then sends you this pathetic excuse for a joke!! and i thought my jokes were bad. i also thought by mistake(by blunder actually) that i was the best person to explain what is meant by justifiable homicide.

English

Welcome to India, we don't really care about how intelligent or smart you are, just hope that you are filthy rich, have a brighter tone and speak "English"
Get ready you ugly scum, you will be able to turn heads around if you converse in "English" and for a change they wont really care about your ugly looks, rarely understand what you are saying but the fact that you speak "English" makes you of an elite class of people. Add to that a foreign accent and complete disrespect to pronunciation of Indian words then you are at the top of the food chain.

We are so obsessed with it, have we ever been able to comprehend why? The "English Medium Schools" even in the slum areas are considered posh and minimum standard, if you are from a government school you are treated/looked upon equivalent to the person who does a very small job with pay as grace of the so called "affluent"(I use the word with great disrespect).
What?? No English, okay okay, i know all about you.
The worst part is when someone tries to correct someone else, the first person is invariably wrong. The use of a multi syllable word is considered posh and stylish and yet, you is never you but 'u', are-'r' and the worst of all, disrespect to the one thing still considered sacred to the Indian mind 'mah'/'ma'. Why o why do you have to drag our mothers into this? I don't really mind the use of short forms as much as i mind that last word, to some extent I understand if you use the sms lingo but please draw limits.

At the end of the day the reason i initially sat down to write this post postponing a mid sem exam is to highlight one thing only, please don't make such a big deal out of it, unless really necessary


-(Butter Phulka in a CD Player) Akshay